easter

unfortunately i have been feeling rather festive today. i say ‘unfortunately’ because i am unable to do anything due to looming deadlines with coursework. between preparing for a studio review tomorrow afternoon and wrapping up my independent research paper this week, i must lock myself in my room… chain myself to my desk, and get things done. ugh… it has been so difficult to actually focus on school the last month or so, especially as we get nearer to graduation which is only a month away. i walked to the store this morning, the sun and warmth were quite nice to wake up to. i think it made me just want to stay outdoors even more… head to the park or go hiking or something. seeing all the families together, the children hunting easter eggs in the store, and everyone relaxed took me back to being young again and living among a relatively close family. seems that over the last seven years or more we have drifted further apart and continue to do so, which i admit i am probably partially to blame as well. i know i don’t stay in contact with family as much as i should or want to. my college years have, in several ways, been difficult as i have had to find myself and who i really am. i still don’t think i fully know who i am or what my purpose is… there is still much to learn about myself. don’t get my wrong though, i have learned an extensive amount.

so as i sit here in my apartment with the outdoors calling out to me, i think about the family get together that is taking place today and how much i would have enjoyed taking part. but of course, time is a burden and so many things have to get done in the next month. i await freedom.